Maybe January is why no one ever sticks to their “New Year’s Resolutions”. January, petulant, qualmish and deterrent, seems to be offering chances or teasing improvements to which I just can’t catch a break. Sick with the flu but, got over it in 48 hours (that’s new!). Boss won’t talk to me. Is that good or bad? So here’s January, faggoty-ass label, “January”, probably French, just doesn’t inspire people-especially in Florida! Look! It’s 80 degrees today, and 35 degrees tonight and 45 in the morning and then, it rains!
January is like a break-up where, you fancy dumping your ex but, because there’s no one else and you’re horny, you run back. “Okay, one more fuck but, this is just sex, alright?”, you say into that hopeful performing face a porn director would love. You know leaving the old habit is the right move but, then it’s just you and your hand again. Now, the bitch is talking about you moving back in and you’re saying to yourself, “Why did I do it? Now, I gotta break it off again. But then, I’ll get horny tomorrow…ah, fuck.” That’s January.
What were my goals for 2019 again? Become a GOOD Magic-Realism oil painter and illustrate my novel. Re-write 665 The Council of Twelve online for totally free and exposure. Reduce my waist size from 38 to 32. Put my chest, arms and ass back on (at 54). Finish CCNP and start CCNP Security\Design (work stuff). Complete saving $50,000 for the new home in July. Pay off all the debt (no big deal). Achieve A+ credit (almost there). And then…relocate to a new city, get a better career, begin “owner\investor” savings plan, buy all new furniture, fall in love with my husband again and…there was something else…Oh yeah! Make at least 5 friends who’ll replace The Council family I’ve lost.
Gods damn it. At the pace I’m going right now, I think a software package would project me out to 2035! I have been painting more. I bought some Princeton brushes because they are the best. I’ve settled on a medium (liquin to 5% walnut oil). I’ve settled on a white – Flake white. Fuck the health concerns. I hate environmentalist anyway. Cancer is for young people. What else? I’m gearing up to take the final exam for CCNP. I’ll pass. A good rape scene would cheer me up but, again, the problem with getting raped is the rapist. Who’d wanna fuck him? YUCK! Maybe I should book a flight to Norway or Scotland and hang out in the rape district. What is on pornhub right now anyway…?
Merréll's Goal 2019 and Beyond 