January 17th – On the way down on the way up.

Let the motherfucker burn!

Before 2019, my head–Okay, backup. Before 2018, my head was buzzing, and not in a good way. My contract, after 13 years, was over. The new contractor was a silty, slimy, disgusting band of unethical business hacks. Proudly, I told them to take their 30% pay cut and shove it up their asses, having no job to go to. I did however, act on my faith and begin studying to become a network engineer. The transition nearly killed me.

That buzzing I referred to wasn’t pleasant. Something was medically wrong with me, perhaps completely stress induced, perhaps physiological. First of all, I sold myself into a position for which I was totally unqualified. The learning curve was straight up for at least another year of OJT. I’d wake up in the morning dizzy, feeling like my brain was suffocating. The dog walk was a bet on whether I’d pass out or not. My thyroid swelled and I began to vomit every day. Topping on the puke cake was, I fell in love with my boss uninvited, because he was kind and strong for me. He found out in an email which I accidentally sent to him. So, life during the entire year of 2018 was fucked up.

Exactly. So, while you’re here…this dick ain’t gonna suck itself!

2019 is not fucked up and perhaps this is why I’m having a difficult time getting “started”. PTSD? Liver cancer? No. I’ve simply awoke in a world which is no longer mine. “You’ve never sucked black dick before? Why? Are you a bigot?!”. “I think trannies should serve in the Marines, don’t you? No?! Why? Are you transphobic?”. “I don’t think we should ever allow a man to be President again. You’re gay. Don’t you agree? Don’t you wanna scoop your nuts out with a razor ice cream scooper and be a walking horror drag like Katelyn? No?! Why? Are you a homo homophobic bigoted nazi?!”. “You voted for Donald Trump?! You ARE a Nazi!! A gay Nazi, like Hitler!!”. I just don’t recognize this nation, America, anymore. My world was so very, very much better.

Beards are fucking disgusting and gross…

Beards are FUCKING DISGUSTING! Gillette has turned on normal men. The one thing everyone, EVERYONE is forgetting? We naturally masculine men STILL rule the entire world, by a long shot! Also, you put some millennial piece of shit emo next to a real man and ask everyone from faggot to super model, “Which one of these two do YOU want to know, date, marry?”, it’s a 10-0 naturally masculine male wins hands down!! So, I’m not crazy.

No. I’ve had to shake my head, blow my nose and make sure my dick didn’t transmute into a long clit but, no, I’m okay. 2019 is STILL the year of the man, the year of power, the year Lord Scorpius reconnects with His Throne. I look around me and, I see the young lady I’ve attracted to become my spiritual oil painting teacher. I see the young man who is quickly becoming my new best friend in Orlando. I see myself mixing tri-colors in oils and coming up with professional, beautiful, gorgeous mixes, one after another. The loudest minority can waltz left off into the abyss and I really don’t give a shit. I spent a year watching them in horror, at how foolish, ignorant, stupid and hypocritical they are, in stunned cringe. Today, I’m only concerned about me. Today, I’m okay. I walked through the valley of the shades of fools and arrived stirred but no longer shaken. Tomorrow is Friday, and a three-day weekend. It is already glorious and, I’m proud of my 8″ cock, still intact. Thank you GOD, Father of The Lord Jesus Christ. Suck it if you don’t love Jesus! I won’t give that up either. I’ll find my voice and realize: It was the loudest sound, the one still winning. The one which will always win. The voice of the self-made man.

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