Happy Birthday Aquarius…You Bastard!

Apply this to YOU. I’m giving my 411 as an example. Scorpio sun, Sagittarian moon and Aquarius Rising. That’s me. See that last part? “Aquarius Rising”. Yuk! Play the hand you’re dealt. I got three cards, two best friends, and then this cunt. As such, Aquarius affects me greatly. Despite all the hoopla past these points (houses, aspects and OMG “Tarot” see: total bullshit), you don’t need to know more about astrology than your sun, moon, rising signs. Your Triquetra.

Today we enter the time slice of AQUARIUS,
January 20th – February 18th, Babylonian.
The focuses and influences of your experience during this time are about how you relate to Aquarius. For me, I’m in part made of Aquarius, thus the affect on me will be according to what I’m attached to this time. “Rising” sign, for a man can be thought of as your “erection” sign, tied to your emotions. I have a super-strong sexual compulsion to Aquarian men. I’ve allowed more abuse, neglect, sell-out and pleading over Aquarian cock than all other signs combined. We tolerate our own bullshit more than all others. Guess what? Scorpio – Aquarius suns? A match made it HELL! So why do it? Because “rising sign” forces and influences create animal sexuality. Maybe someone can fill me in on how women work because, I don’t know.

Aquarius males are spotted by their walk and run. Their heels bounce off the ground, in fact, rarely touching. They’re generally not attractive in the face which I attribute to physical signs of mental illness. They do have the most perfect, round muscular asses men can have. Other notable physical traits are caveman ham feet, cuts and bruises, thick lips and smooth skin, and generally, curly hair. Aquarians are subject to high cholesterol and blood issues. Don’t know why. As a result, they have “ball” or “bulbus” features, sometimes balls on the end of their nose, fingers, or toes. Not that you asked but, Aquarian males’ balls are low hangers to an extreme. They tend to have the definition of “medium size” in the penis. Their at their worst, when born with two recessive genes, like blonde hair and light colored eyes, Look out! That bitch be cray-cray! Aquarians are the world’s greatest kissers. I’ve openly advocated for Aquarians to set up kissing booths and charge $100 per 10 minute session. They can teach the world the proper use of a mouth. More intimately? They could charge $1000 and it’d be a deal. Just don’t fall in love with one! Christ!!

They have a body best represented as carvings in marble, and yet they’re rarely “beasts”, like Taurus. Aquarius would be the MMA fighter, not the boxer. In Fantasy fiction, Aquarius is the entertaining rogue, the singing thief and the last one you suspect is getting his dick wet every night, but does. Let me not mention sex again leaving it at this: Aquarius men are the best sex can get, and the experience is why, when they causally walk away, they leave broken, damaged wrecks in their wake. They have a gift of pleasure like no other, and pain. They are also unfortunately, the definition of split-personality when they get drunk or high. The most calm and gentle Aquarian male can be a violent rage when influenced by drugs and alcohol.

“Love ’em and Leave ’em”, is the very kindest way to say the mind-screwing torture from Aquarius. Only their victims insist on calling the experience “a relationship”. The strangest factor about them is, while it never lasts, while they never fully commit, and truly never fall in love, they are supremely monogamous. No anchor goes to the bottom from the Aquarius boat. Oh, and look at me! Going off on my personal tangent. Where does the time fly? Point being, expect these traits in yourself, influenced by this time slice during the sign of Aquarius, depending.

Aquarius vertical does have fantastic worthy traits, being 1/12 a slice of God’s own personality. Astrology is most powerful when single words are considered in meditation. January 20 – February 18th and YOU:
Aquarius = IDEALISM, DUALISM, BIPOLARISM, ART, METH, CONTRAST, REVOLUTION, LEAVING, INTENSE SEX\MASTURBATION.
Your experiences during the time of Aquarius, depending upon your connection to it will be, “Feminine seduction\Masculine taking”. A business deal or new business perhaps? “Physical perfection\mental illness” (or the inverse). Areas you need to improve and maximize? “Desire\Anger\High emotion towards why the human race can’t be more perfect”. Political ambitions? Desire to inspire revolution? “Change of Everything”. Time to move? “Seasons meanings are heightened, like a farmer feeling planting season”. In a nutshell? Aquarius = restlessness. Progress is an example of restlessness and the United States an example of rebellion and change. It’s not like Aquarius totally sucks. They love themselves enough to make up for any other’s disdain including my humble opinions.

As I have written previously, the calendar year should go back to starting on April 20th and fuck January 1st. Early January is shit for “New Beginnings” but the advent of Aquarius IS an exception, if you know how to use it. January 1st, still in Capricorn, the definition of unchanging, is why most of the New Year’s Resolutions don’t take. Do them in Aquarius and they can!