2019 Everything Changes

No more about the past. Let it go.
Most people with super-interesting stories will die with their stories untold. No one gives a fuck who you were until you are someone popular, wealthy or infamous.  Creme rises or crap floats, otherwise, you’re a faceless droplet,  lost in a sea.
Telling you my past is telling you how I don’t matter. All that matters is now –> forward.  2019 is the year everything changes. It’s taken me 52 years to realize, I’m creating everything I experience in a course of duality. I’ve finally learned exactly what “faith” is, as a creation force, and I’ll share how and why I fucked up until now, in digestible bits, of course.

I’m a lot of things which contradict each other. I’m a Southern queer, raised Baptist, who still holds Christian beliefs. I’ve had more ass than a truck stop toilet seat but, it was all to find “The One”. I’m a gay Trump supporter, although I’m amazed as to why that’s “a thing”. Democrats bashed gays to support Muslims and illegal immigrants with the Orlando Pulse Club mass shooting so, where’s the mystery? The Clintons personally held up Marriage Equality for 20 years. I guess those lacking maturity and personal responsibly will remain intellectually retarded and government dependent, like babies on a tit. Gay men are notoriously Peter Pans. Maybe is Soy.
Duality is key. It all should’ve came to me so much sooner. I blame my astrological template somewhat. Hell, I’m astrologically contradictory.  Scorpio sun, Sagittarius moon, Aquarius Rising.  That’s a suicide or mass murder ticket right there, and yet, my idealism is for peace and prosperity.  Faith is dualistic. It’s not one thing, and often, it’s condradictory. American society, what’s left of it, the drag-n-drop association, requires “Faith” to be “one thing” and so, no one gets the truth of a two-part solution.
Faith, as a tool of creation is one-part belief in the actor. All you have to do is believe and ask? That’s where shit stories like “The Secret” and complete garbage philosophies like “Thoughts become things” fails everyone except its authors. They get stupidly rich on other’s passion, gullibility and desperation. The second vital piece of “faith” is action inspired completely by belief. The true definition of faith is  “Yes, I can do”, not the insanity of “yes, I do believe”. We are not our thoughts but rather, our actions resulting from our thoughts.  2019 begins today…January 1st.

Through step-one, I became a network engineer (without a clue), a self-published author (without a hope) and a fine arts oil painter (never finishing a work). Through step-two, I’ll become a Professional Network Engineer, a Vanity Published Author and, a true Fine Arts Painter, in 2019. I’ll also become a home owner, with my Cancerian husband (a marriage I called into being through faith). We’re in the first 2 years of marriage so, it’s rough but, 2019 will see the end of rough and the beginning of greatness. This personal blog will tell that story and we’ll see if anyone gives a shit enough to read it.


January 2019 – Activation

Living in the past enthralls to petrifaction. ~Merréll

A dog’s life is a matter of living for the day. A sentient being’s day is survival coupled with wisdom. Today must include action-stepped planning at least two years in the future. Success is predictive when focus shifts from how much earned to how much saved. The game of capitalism is simple, with one rule: “It takes money to make money”. That’s me now. The following was me then, and this post is the last I’ll say of ‘then’.

In 2012, because of anti-white racism, coupled with anti-American policies I couldn’t support, I left the Democrat party. Finding REAL friends, for the first time, with “Conservatives”, I then realized how fake, false and bullshittery “Liberals” truly are, and how brainwashed I was. That move, away from government-dependency had a lot to do with my grasp of personal responsibility but, not as much as legal marriage did. No wonder the Democrats kept it from us for so very long!

Being married is like a spiritual chain anchored from heart-to-heart where, nearly everything you do has a cause and effect on another person. Marriage is seeing a hard, round, gorgeous ass on a beautiful set of legs and not being able to fuck it. Marriage is also being able to save $40,000-$60,000 a year whereas before, you ended the year as you started. See all those nice houses, and land, and home-ownership? Yeah, that’s marriage. So, is marriage a great thing or a land of the living dead where your dick is starving to death? You decide because, no one should care what you think of their marriage. One thing for sure: Marriage is wealth, peace and prosperity.

Marriage also makes you consider all the things lacking in your material, spiritual and sexual life. Suddenly, living in an apartment sucks, when it always did suck but, you didn’t care. You grow up and start seeing how small the numbers you always saw as ‘big’ truly are. You begin to look at scales and ranges in consideration of where you belong in economic and social society.
If marriage is going to work for you, be loyal, honest, trusting and trustworthy. You need to be faithful. Easy with a super-hot, horse-hung guy who drills you like a derrick twice-a-day. Your brain doesn’t work when there’s a 9″ cock two inches away from it. But, that’s never the guy you marry. That guy fucks you over and steels your shit. You were smart. You married for all the right reasons. Now, you make it work, and it is work. Now you build, cinder block on cinder block, crawling to every goal you can dream of–and, it works. The goals? Oh, that’s so simple: Health, Wealth and Happiness.

My goals, starting today, leaving the mist of the past? Simple.
1. Study at work, Study work, vowing to learn at least one new complete topic per day, with the following side note: At least ONE new certification every six months.
2. Paint. I’m 1000 hours away from being a good, if not great oil painter. Paint at least 2 hours every day.
3. Republish my novel for free on the Internet. Prep now, start on Feb. 18th (domain transfer issues).